Compass Required

Wandering wildly wondering will this constant race continue running through my mind. I lay awake at five in the morning forcing myself to fall back asleep but to no avail. I rustle around upstairs trying to make as little noise as possible, but it seems as if the house has it out for me creaking and cracking with every gentle step that I take. Quickly, I put on my clothes as if I am running away from a mistake that can only be masked by the rapidly approaching dawn. I gather the essentials which includes my computer, a notebook, Desolation Angels and two eager legs that seem to be running the show. The door slams loudly behind me and I am greeted by empty streets and the cool cover of darkness.

My footsteps start carrying me down these dangerously inviting streets. I am walking in the emptiness of this town with nothing stirring around me except for the natural world. Squirrels approach with the curiosity of a young child while the trees above breathe up yet another day in a life that is only just beginning. Funny to think about. There is a blissful feeling knowing no one is watching you or wondering what you are doing. It's to early for anybody else to care, it's just me and the darkness and now I wonder what it would be like if the sun decided not to rise today?

The sun is starting to creep up over these rolling mountain tops not yet giving off the true heat of the day. I climb up a small mountain and finda rocky that has been waiting for this moment since it first started forming. Is this rock here for me or am I here for it? Whatever the case may be I am surrounded by glowing yellow flowers which are set off by its red neighbor. I am looking down over this little town and still no one is up or about. The sky is still dark but I can see the stars saying their goodbyes as they fade away, never to be seen like this again on this cool crisp August morning. The sun now shines low to the East and has brightened up these flowers but that good ole rock and me are still in the shadows of the morning.

The flowers start my day better than anything else could. They catch the light and one can almost feel the love and struggle of life they all share. The sun that these flowers are bathing in I am now trying to hide from. There is no subtle transition from the cool crisp morning to the heat of the day. I walk down back to the streets and continue trudgin down the road. I look down the road and wonder where it ends. How easy would it be to just start walking, to hitch hike to the great ends of America. To find a desolate mountain and be by myself for a little while. An escape from the constant worries that we create for ourselves that soon become the laws that we have to live by and are chained to. A solitude that I ache for but can't grasp. Only small parts of these streets will know my footsteps.

I approach the town that is now alive, people picking up right where they left off. Some waking up with mistakes right next to them while others just go through their mundane routines. I am lost in a town that has only three main streets. This town cries out for new beginnings but is trapped in a constant state of limbo. My inner mind dissects every little thing that my senses pick up. Walking alone in this town for awhile now, I'm really not sure where to turn.

Walk towards Inspiration

I wake up early in the morning. Much earlier than I should be on my day off. Jackson has just slammed the door behind him getting ready for the to short of a drive to work. April is walking around downstairs, as is customary she pauses at the entertainment center contemplating what music genre should start off her day. She chooses. Her day now starts as she walks to the kitchen and opens up her computer. I am still upstairs resting four inches above the floor. I sit up as the sun creeps into the loft swimming slowly over the banister. I step slowly and carefully down the spiral staircase into the living room. I am greeted by a smiling sleepy-faced April. She just gives me a slight laugh and asks me if I want some coffee. Sure.  

April is now steadily hurrying to get ready for work. I am sitting at the counter with the sun washing over my back. The coffee is heating up my morning way to quickly. I feel the coffee moving through my veins bringing my body temperature to a roasting 99.6 degrees. I decided on no more coffee for now, but a book would do just nicely. I spread out on the couch  as April's once slow morning had developed into a heel to toe race from the carpet to the linoleum. Dressing for work while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She heads out the door with a twenty-five minute walk ahead of her. I rise to my feet and go get dressed. The upstairs is now so hot that I can barely stand to be up there, the lower the better I always say. 

My morning now turned to noon time and I begin to feel trapped in this house and in this town. I have to get out. I make a sure decision and put on some shoes, grab Garrison's headphones he so generously left and I head out the door. I walk out and head left on Flume Canyon. The Sun is directly over my head. I am walking down this now familiar street that was once up to my waist in snow. Glad that winters over. The dogs begin to bark and howl as if I am a trespasser on this street that they have only seen from their balconies. So loud and obnoxious! If only you could run around this beautiful terrain like you were really meant to. Letting nature, who knows best, choose to take care of you or cast you aside. 

I have now reached highway 2 and I choose to take another left but not before walking across the street to be on the south facing slopes for a change. I stop and put my headphones in and look up at the bike path ahead. I start walking on the blacktop which is radiating heat that I can feel through the soles of my shoes. The walk begins with my mind pacing just like that heel to toe race I saw earlier in the kitchen. This time the race doesn't end on the linoleum but keeps circling the tracks in my mind. I need to start walking and stop thinking. 

Cars and motorcycles alike are speeding past me with my back towards them. I decide that its probably in my best interest to turn my music down so I can hear the traffic at my back. I have now been walking for awhile and I realize that I didn't bring anything to drink. Oh well. I turn right onto no road for a little bit. I am contouring the southern slopes, it feels a lot hotter on this side of the mountains with no major trees shade to hide under. I quickly decide that this contouring isn't worth my time right now, I was having flashbacks to work and the unforgiving terrain in which we work. Back down to the blacktop I decide. The walk continues with each step taking me further away from the hells and bells that seem to ring in that small quaint little town.  

I can feel my walk coming to an end. My legs are beginning to weigh heavy on me, giving my thoughts a run for their money in weight. My mind is exhausted with analyzing, stereotyping and criticizing. It feels as if the tires on the track are starting to get a little bare. They are peeling and sliding across the pavement slipping with every hard turn they have to make. Yea, the walk is coming to an end. I arrive at a point in which everything is revealed. I look out over the sun covered mountains and sit down on a rock. What an amazing scene it is to see the tops of trees soaked with the sunlight while they cast magnificent shadows down onto the mountain side. The dirt and rock slide down being pushed by some animal using this steep mountain as a playground while they live their lives. It seems so simple at this point. I stand up and take off my shirt and lay in the sun. The wind is blowing a calming breeze to my heavy legs and mind. I can't sit still. I stand up and look out at the mountains one more time. I turn left and start walking home. 

Sipping the light

Sittin next to the waves busting onto the coast with the sun catching the sand on fire. The mountain town is at my back and I'm looking forward to the salty air that won't escape my lungs, as long as my memories hold on tight. You know how the story goes, it's just me an ole Jack, E already put that down but I'm gonna try to live it as if he were here with us. Actually he is here with us cause the passion he lives with, we are always trying to master. The sun is setting now as we walk out into the night. What should we do! Where should we go next? The beach looks inviting. I could dance to that rhythm. We could try to converse with those lovely ladies. But first we should walk up these steps and quench our thirst and start the evening off with some billiards. "Yup! That's exactly what we should do!"

Time passes while the thirst is slowly getting satisfied. Frustrated by a shot thats missed here or celebrated by a shot that's made there. Alright it's time to move on down the street. Sitting on an island on the sidewalk. Cars passing us by and my eyes do not deceive when a bike with pedals passes us by with his engine roaring. We laugh without reason at the simple fact thats been imprinted on our minds, hipsters riding the new "in" bike. Ha. We sit down grooving to some good old blues music! A man past his prime letting it go on the guitar while his lead man stands up on a table. The mic is held close to his mouth down by his knees. He now knows that all the eyes in the room are only on him. It's time to shine. My mind now goes to wonderment and the curious thoughts of wondering what the spotlight feels like? I am not ready for those soft glowing watts. I'll just let him stay there and sing his downbeat tunes captivating the eager crowd.

"Street walkin baby!" The night continues on! The moon is now a waxing sliver giving off a lot more light than it should whilst that size. It's nice the way it makes that Pacific look. It's darker than the sky, midnight black with some rolling snow crashing into the shore on a specific pattern. No joke!

I am standing in a crowd of people wherever I go in this town. The typical fanni-pack wielding, Coach sporting, freshly crewed hair tipped individuals who make up the Southern Californian coast. They all gather at this watering hole while the gate keepers keep those fresh young minds out of Hell's Kitchen. "Oh well." They all say while the splendid evening continues on. Now the lights indoor rival that eloquent moon that's still traveling across the sky with plenty of confidence. Everybody is out tonight enjoying this lovely light! Why not?

The light sets off all different styles and moods. In this evening the streets haves been walked, the floors have been stomped and the palate has been satisfied and quenched. Walking home now wondering, " Why in the night sky are the lights hung"?

Sunsets in The San Gabriel's

Up in the top of a White Fur having just squeezed through the branches that presented themselves as a challenging obstacle. At the top you get that distinct aroma of nature swimming against the current into your senses. It's a cool crisp morning, your breath still comes out of your mouth wanting to be seen. Ice and snow still cover most of the trails below, just a reminder of the winter that doesn't want to end. The sun is slowly crawling across the sky letting itself be known, it finally feels like it's here to stay.

Slowly down climbing, now the hikes and the journeys of the day are getting ready to begin. Carrying things from there to here while lizards scamper around dodging a toe here or a heel there. Man made steel on the shoulders while trudging along a game trail. It seems fitting and natural to stay to these paths. Rock formations are now poking their faces up through the snow providing a new picture of the landscape. Tan pine needles begin to surface as well, begging to catch fire to restore that natural order to these mountains. But we persist or resist, but it will happen. These mountains carry stories that have been forgotten and swallowed up by an ever growing, consuming littering society.

Mid day now shaded by some oaks which in return is shaded by a 120 ft Ponderosa, thanks big guy. A breeze starts a dance in the treetops which keeps a soothing rhythm as it passes over the mountain side. Doug Fur now bearing down across the shoulders as if Jesus Christ himself. With each step feeling steeper and sweat beading down your forehead, one forgets about the beauty that they are lucky to experience. Resting now on a suitable root that will provide enough of a seat to keep you from getting pulled down the unforgiving terrain.

There is no call for the end of the day, just the fading sunlight that reminds you of the bed awaiting you at home. Packing up the days work preparing for the walk ahead, rubbing out the soreness in the shoulders. Walking down the man made path this time with battery powered gadgets on the back feeling like an ass in the biblical times. The steps are lighter going down hill and the breeze is now shifting to the sturdy bases of these trees. Feel it passing over your face pushing strands of hair in every direction. Turn the corner on the trail and now your eyes are hypnotized by the different colors of paint that have spilled across the sky. The darkest pink surrounded by a vibrant orange, with shades of electric red splitting the colors up. Shades of magenta outline the colors setting off the dark blue backdrop as if it were a carpet being rolled out for the approaching full moon. Paused at a clearing looking over the mountains into the now red desert. These colors have now poured onto the earth and into your very skin, all you have to do is look around. Its the end of the day now, its time for the moon to have its fun.

Sun's a Comin

Looking out the window of my house to the sun hitting the porch. It's a nice day and things are still moving along just like they were yesterday. There is hardly anymore snow on the ground and you can feel that spring is coming along. One can almost feel the happiness that the trees are feeling from the warmth of the long awaited sun. 

I spent last weekend at Joshua Tree National Park with some good friends and we had some good times. It was a drastic change in scenery than what I have been use to in the past years of my life. Dropping into the desert surrounded by massive slabs of rock that attract the most novice and expert climbers around the world. This place has such a dramatic topography unlike anything that I have ever seen before. But just like any amazing and beautiful place its the people that you are with that make every sight that much better. From Scrambling up rocks in search of a private climb to looking out over the park at some of the most unique trees in North America. The nights at any camping destination is always the most refreshing time for me. Sitting under the stars and next to a fire is always a good meal for the soul. A circle of friends around a fire is one of the most pure things we have today. Jokes, questions, life stories and sometimes just some empty conversation is always more honest under the stars next to a fire. 

From the fire to my first week of work was a somewhat of a harsh transition for me. I am working in the San Gabriel mountain range and every view is stunning. I spent the last week hauling cables from here to there and I am not going to lie I am very sore but its such a rewarding feeling. The landscape is very treacherous and one miss placed step could send you tumbling down some very steep terrain. Despite these conditions there is something to be said about the area that I am in. Ponderosa and Jeffery Pines trying to disguise themselves as one another and giant Sugar Pines bragging to others around them about their cones being so perfectly formed. White Furs spreading across the slopes adding a delicate scene to the area. I am working in nature and I have begun to realize that not everyone gets to see this beauty like I do. The majority of the masses would rather see it from a distance like from their television set or in a car just driving by. The way the sun sets on these mountains and the way the trees cast their perfect shadows is an eye opening and spiritual experience. I will take a passage from one of Jack's favorite writers Gary Snyder, "The lessons we learn from the wild become the etiquette of freedom." I plan on finding new trails and new paths to walk off of as I continue to try and understand the wilderness.  

Big Eyed World

My eyes are still adjusting to the sun, I find myself continually squinting to see this new beauty that is around me. I sure am glad to be squinting. I have just traveled from Clyde Park, Montana to Wrightwood, California where I will be resting my head for a little while. I left one beautiful place for another, but instead of it being negative 30, I am sitting at the local Coffee shop basking in 60 degree weather. I don't know how I got so lucky to be out here but I plan on taking full advantage of the place I am in. Life is good once again.

I am not only surrounded by physical beauty but I am among the people that I love once again. Not to say that I didn't leave Montana with a heavy heart, I left behind a brother in Brad and some other great friends that I know will last a long time. When Brad hugged me goodbye at the airport it wasn't a goodbye as most people would put it, rather a simple "I'll see ya later, love you man." I know that those words were the truth but I do hope that it is sooner rather than later. As I left him I knew I was flying to another brother in Jackson. It's good to be around him again so soon after leaving Asheville, neither of us expected it to happen so fast but I can only speak for myself in saying that I am glad to be around him again. There are still things left to learn from that guy.

The fact that I am so lucky to be here has not been lost on me. I am going to take full advantage of this place that I am in and live for everyone that is to afraid to. I am excited about all of the things that I am going to learn from this place. I am going to approach this new lifestyle with a new maturity with the hopes of continuing to grow up. I love everyone who made it possible for me to get here. Thanks to my family as well for always putting up with me. I love you all. I approach this new beginning with my eyes as wide as they can be, despite the sun.